Jobberwocky Babysitter

In summer with silver DSi
From babysitter strength of teen.
Their smiles go ‘round from ear from eye
With YouTube rumbling Queen.

“Jump over Babysit, my sons!”
The basketball kicks, the Giant’s hat.
Clear college path to fireman runs
Over our welcome mat.

Small youth of boys denies their brain
The sense to shun the Babysit.
Running round to flank like train
Attack with ocram fit.

A water pistol murks the day
With gurgle balls and starmples stream.
To strike the mystery “hooray!!”
Some babysit the scream.

Arise the monster they create
In running, jumping, freeze.
He bids the harple boys, “It’s late”
Into the car he flees.

Robert Frost Chicken Nuggets

This poem, a comment on tonight's dinner adventure (competition???), is in the same rhyme and rythm as "The Road Not Taken". To make the pattern clear, I've separated the 20 lines into 4 stanzas of 5 lines each.

Two chicken nuggets lay on plate
And I wished kids would finish both.
But “clean plate club” is not their trait
Diverting from their solemn fate
Create concern, cease Dad’s hair growth.

One nugget could fuel World War 3.
Its salty crust and tender meat
Spurs youth to heights of junk food glee
Consuming massive calories
With fingers fast and not too neat.

Should I tamp down the brewing feud?
That surely will erupt with force
Between the kids, poison the mood.
By speaking young boy words so rude
And insults said with no remorse?

At dinner’s end the plate lay bare
Two chicken nuggets had be eaten
Kids stomachs full, no food to share.
In the conflict no children there
By hungry siblings had been beaten.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning Sleepover (Sonnet 43??)

Kids stay up all night? Parents wake in daze.
I ask the pre-teens to turn off the light
That floods the hallway with its rays so bright
Nintendo DS gaming fights doeth rage
Presenting kids bedroom as play and stage.
Each boy performs to audience of one
They stay up quietly watching YouTube fun
Boys stay up loudly joking with the moon
Boys stay up striving to make noise ‘till late.
Reading Simpsons and Batman cartoons
Boys stay up in their MTV-like state.
“Please go to sleep,” but boys stay up and soon
Parents do bribe with midnight snack on plate.
But they stay up more listening to iTunes.

Battle Hymn of the Neighborhood Carnival

Over the weekend, my 10 year old and I went to the used bookstore in search of new Hardy Boys books. While he paged through The Masked Monkey, I browsed the poetry section for blogging inspiration and stumbled across a collection of poetry from the civil war.

One book passionately described Civil War poetry as “filled with moral fervor” over slavery and preserving the union. Heavy stuff, and fascinating to Mad Dad Poet, the engineer with limited schooling in writing and literature.

After looking at books in the morning, we took kids and friends to the local traveling carnival in the afternoon. It’s the standard school parking lot carnival with 10 rides, lots of carnival games and really disgusting carnival food. One of the other Dads described his first churro as a “sugar-coated, grease-filled donut death stick”. All the kids enthusiastically ate one..... AFTER going on the rides.

Combining the "moral fervor" of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” with the weekend carnival activities resulted in the poem below.



This was the magic weekend with the feared “Nativity Fair"
A yearly time that ev’ry father wishes was not there.
Consuming all spare dollars in the noisy summer air
With one short, simple rule.


(chorus)
Don’t eat corn dogs and a churro
Don’t eat corn dogs and a churro
Don’t eat corn dogs and a churro
If riding “Vomit-Tron”.


The boys insisted that we ride our bikes to Carnival.
A parking lot of steel and rust, a 5th grade Bacchanal.
With food court and the teenage kids it’s just like Stanford Mall.
And all kids win goldfish.

(chorus)


Our kids enjoyed the spaceship ride that spins with dropping floor.
They rode the up-down, tilting thing and asked for tickets more
The ’66 Ford Mustang was most surely not a bore.
But "Vomit-Tron" loomed high.

(chorus)

Of three friends only two would venture onto "Vomit-Tron".
The third’s head was still aching from adventures over yon’.
The youth survived the upside-down trip, skyward and beyond.
With paper bags in hand.

(final chorus)

Edger Allen Poe Raven Braces

This poem was a blast to write. The rhyming pattern and rhythm for The Raven is unique and distinctive. The last line of each stanza, ending with the words "never more", is a big fat pitch over home plate to discuss kid's braces.

Because I'm a Vincent Price fan, below the poem I have included a video of him reading The Raven.


Once when teeth were straight and baby, eating peas and carrots (maybe)
Cheese sticks were the rage as high chairs stood upon the kitchen floor.
Pacifier, pointer finger, oral habits sometimes linger
As kids grow from infant to a toddler, pantries they explore.
Touching food and toys quite dirty, with their mouths they do explore
Little mouth safe never more.

Now electric brushes moving on bicuspids small and grooving
Can they keep the teeth safe from junk purchased at the candy store?
Sugar, sweets are quite addicting, children’s action so conflicting
With their clear instructions Mom and Dad, “avoid sweets” they implore.
"Floss your teeth and hold off on the chocolate cupcakes" they implore
One dessert and nothing more.

Little children, growing older, eating patterns get much bolder
Birthday parties, Halloween and cub scout cookouts filled with smores.
Overwhelmed with strong temptation, juice and soda kids can't ration
Adult teeth at angles, child is patient dentist does adore.
“Cavities are fixed but braces needed, smile we will adore".
Chewing gum is never more.

Conversations very honest, Doctor "Ouch" the orthodontist
Told the parents skeptical to open up their wallet more.
Teeth came in at horizontal, in the back and in the frontal
With no treatment, smile will disappear replaced by fangs galore.
Orange braces, visits to the doctor costing funds galore
Bank account’s cash never more.

Iambic Pentameter Minivan

The dents and dings show travel history
across the space and time of young strong sons
It bares a witness to ten summer camps
and devastating school projects of science.
Granola bars crushed into oaty mist
to penetrate the cloth interior.
"Lozano's Brushless Wash" is mystified
and does not clean the van that needs "detox".

Removing scratches yet they all return
to form a map that links school, work and play.
Old moldy orange rots 'neith driver's seat
exuding fruity death perfume for all.
A sushi roll yearns for the sauce of soy
then finds the company of Lego men.
Oh vacuum cleaner, Armor All's big spray
Please find a home in my wife's mini van !!

Sleepover Limerick

One boy a sleepover had,
his two brothers were really quite glad.
They spread out 10 yards
of his Pokemon cards
which usually makes him quite mad.

Breakfast talk was questionably tasteful
With leftover Cheerios wasteful.
Six year olds speak
sometimes springing a leak
with orange juice by the faceful.

Joyce Kilmer Nerf Guns

I think that I shall never see
out of my left eye, leave me be.
Nerf gun bullets fly overhead
Tuesday morning in my bed.

Decending from the sky like rain
poking holes straight to my brain.
Toy guns cause Mom and Dad to curse
And not in pleasant poetry verse@!

These three boys must go outside
Baskets to shoot and bikes to ride.
But TV holds a great attraction
So maybe overnight camp for child subtraction?

3 Boy Airplane Haiku

Paper airplanes fly
Landing on me, paper cut
Spiderman bandaid